Guns and Roses
by Mirror-of-Roses
Summary: Ruby Rose is a weapon geek. Not only that, but THE weapon geek. That was definitely what she had thought, but not what she had dreamed...


Ruby was almost certain nobody was as obsessed with weaponry as she was. As a self-proclaimed "Weapon Geek" , she had to be the only one worthy enough to hold that title, in her opinion.

 _Nobody loves weapons as much as I do. Nobody! Ruby Rose, Weapon Geek, will not be outdone by any human being._

Oh, how wrong she was.

* * *

Ruby was standing on the lush green lawn of a large house under the stars. She was also wearing something she didn't actually own: a pink nightgown. Why, she had no clue.

"Oh right, I'm dreaming," Ruby said offhandedly. She smiled and clapped her hands. "I'm lucid dreaming! No, calm down, don't wake up. Stay asleep, Ruby..."

Without warning, a head of choppy blond hair poked out of the first-floor window.

"What do you think you're doing on my property?" The male shouted, lifting a long object onto the windowsill. "Go the hell away or I shoot!"

 _That's definitely a rifle,_ Ruby thought, her voice echoing.

"Of course it is," the blind fumed, looking through the scope with a finger on the trigger. "Now go away."

"Wait, you heard that?"

"What, you don't know when you're talking?" He retorted. "I told you to leave."

Crescent Rose was in Ruby's hands within seconds. "Come on, stop being so rude. I have no idea where I am, so please calm down!"

His green eyes widened at the sight of a _red sniper rifle_ and he shifted away from his own gun. "Where did you get that?"

"I designed it myself." Ruby beamed, unfurling her beloved weapon. "It's also a scythe. Ooh, what does yours do?"

His expression went blank. "It's a gun. It shoots bullets. It hurts people."

"Duh, I mean what does it transform into?" Ruby asked innocently.

"It doesn't transform. What the hell are you holding anyway?"

"Can I come inside? I don't really like having a gun aimed at me..."

Switzerland paused. She _did_ remind him of Liechtenstein, in a way, and if this girl was anything like his sister, surely nothing bad would happen, right? An innocent-looking girl with a sniper rifle couldn't be _that_ dangerous.

There definitely were _not_ bullets on that belt around her waist.

The Swiss man put his gun away and briefly disappeared from view. After various clicking noises, the front door opened. "Come in. Put that giant monster away, first."

Ruby's weapon was back in gun form and had disappeared by the time she's entered the house. "What's your name?"

"Vash Zwingli."

"Ruby Rose." She held out her hand, but he didn't shake it. She laughed nervously and let it drop back to her side.

"You didn't answer my question." Switzerland frowned. "What is that thing?"

"A High-Caliber Sniper-Scythe. Named it myself, by the way." Ruby smirked. "I just can't believe how plain your rifle is. I mean, a friend of mine has one that can be a javelin and a sword." She picked up said rifle and stared at it, unimpressed.

"Did you just say-" Switzerland couldn't finish, Ruby had gone on a tangent.

"... and my sister had Dual Ranged Shot Gauntlets, her partner/teammate had a Variant Ballistic Chain Scythe, which is super cool, and my partner-teammate has a Multi-Action Dust Rapier, which is like a magical sword..."

Switzerland had lost his mind after Ruby had said something about a war hammer-grenade launcher combo, and now she was going on about "Semblances" or whatever and her near-invincible sister. Where the heck was she from? Certainly not planet Earth.

 _Neptune, maybe?_ The blond's thoughts were heard by the younger teen.

"Yeah, he's the one with the gun/trident/glaive. Am I wearing you down? You look..." -Ruby tilted her head to the side- "tired."

Switzerland sighed. "I'm fine. Do you want to..." -he looked away, eyes closed- "see my gun collection?"

He didn't want to admit it, but he actually liked Ruby. A little. He'd never really met anyone as enthusiastic about weapons as her, and he was grateful. It was like that feeling of "finally, someone else".

At this moment, however, Ruby was enamoured. Sure, he was pretty territorial, but he had a collection of _guns_ , one of her favourite things.

"C-collection?" Ruby drawled. She squealed in excitement. "Of course I do! Lead the way!"

The room was at the back of the house, hidden behind a grey door.

"Don't squeal too loudly, my sister's upstairs," he warned her, his hand on the doorknob.

"Okay, I'll hold it in." Ruby mentally prepared herself, fists raised to her chin in anticipation.

When Switzerland opened the door and they entered the room, Ruby swore she heard angels singing, sharing happiness with the young reaper.

On her left? Guns. Her right? Guns. In front of her? Guns. Above her? A ceiling fan.

Okay, the last thing didn't matter, but that was besides the point.

"Whoa..." Ruby breathed, her expression the epitome of awe and astonishment. "Where do you keep the ammunition?"

"Somewhere else."

The moment Switzerland stepped into the room, he felt uneasy, like Ruby would take his prized machine gun and go on a rampage like it was normal, like she did it every day. He definitely was _not_ going to show her all of his ammunition. She'd probably load up hay weapon that shouldn't exist and annihilate all of Switzerland and the rest of the continent.

"Well, that's good enough," the country said hastily, "you saw my collection. We're leaving."

Ruby whipped around. "Come on, not yet. I barely saw anything."

"You've seen enough. Out!" Switzerland grabbed her by the arms and hauled her out of the room, the girl whining and complaining the whole way.

* * *

Ruby woke up feeling utterly defeated. She was happy it was all a dream and hopefully that Vash guy wasn't real, but...

"Where's _my_ weapon collection?"


End file.
